Assets Gentlemen's Club - Washington, D.C.

Brock
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2022 8:51 am

Assets Gentlemen's Club - Washington, D.C.

Post by Brock »

1805 Connecticut Ave NW
Washington, DC 20009
(202) 450-3127
Sunday 9:30PM–2AM
Monday Closed
Tuesday Closed
Wednesday 9:30PM–2AM
Thursday 9:30PM–2AM
Friday 9:30PM–3AM
Saturday 9:30PM–3AM

https://clubassets.com/
https://www.instagram.com/clubassetsdmv/
Brock
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2022 8:51 am

Re: Assets Gentlemen's Club - Washington, D.C.

Post by Brock »

Decided to check out Assets after an evening corporate holiday party in DC a couple weeks ago, Saturday night in mid-December. I arrived solo at around 1:00 a.m., my buddies took a separate car as they had to drive some drunk party attendees home first. At that late hour I was lucky to find street parking less than a block away. Otherwise, would have had to find a garage. Paid $40 cover at the door. Main club is large/medium sized room with couches up the middle and at one end, a raised stage with a couple poles on the right side as you enter, and a bar at the far end. Couches looked to be for VIP/bottles and took up most of the real estate in the room, very little space around the edges to navigate.

I rarely visit DC clubs but if you aren't familiar they are low(er) contact and no extras as a general rule. Not full nude. Assets was no exception. I asked about backrooms, and was told that they didn't do that. It was strictly about 1) VIP tables, 2) make it rain at the stage, and 3) wall dances around the sides of the room. Partying. Club was very packed when I arrived but the energy was extremely low. Maybe because it was kind of late already, and most of the cash had been sucked out of the room by that time.

I counted at least 15 dancers and there were probably closer to 20. All but one was Black / AA, nearly all were gorgeous, and ALL with just massive, massive booty. No skinny or overweight dancers... just thick. So much ass I was in heaven, this was gonna be a great end to an already fun evening of partying. I posted up at an open wall spot about halfway into the club, pulled a big fistful of ones out of my pocket... and then just stood there like an asshole for 15-20 minutes. Zero approaches, groups of dancers sitting around BSing up by the stage, or close to nodding off on the VIP couches. I began to wonder if this is like the community pool situation from when I was a kid, where they blow the whistle and everybody has to get out of the water for 15 minutes for safety and a lifeguard break. I considered that it might be something about me. I was a little overdressed for the crowd with a nice blazer/jacket, dark jeans, white shirt and high end sneakers. But, there were a couple other dudes there in suits. I'd been drinking, but not sloppy drunk. I'm a 40s white guy and was the ONLY white customer in the house so I stuck out. But I don't think it was that... other customers seemed pretty friendly overall and in my experience at this kind of club the dancers don't care about that, they will just come get your money. Just a weird vibe, whatever.

FINALLY, a dancer approached. She looked great and nobody else was approaching so I asked how much. She said $100 and I agreed although I didn't know if that would be for just one song or a few. Nice wall dance. Enthusiastic booty grind, and she had no issues with some light smacks or grip. Probably a couple songs in length. I sprinkled the hundred on her booty then tipped her a few more bucks at the end. I tried to get a drink after that, but a ton of people were packing the bar and I didn't have the patience to mess with it... so sorry, no idea how much drinks are. I assume expensive, as it is DC. I didn't want to wait forever for another dance so I decided to just cut my losses. I texted my friends to abort and left.

I'd give this place another chance if I'm downtown, now that I understand the situation and overall vibe. I went in there blind, no idea that it was a make it rain kind of spot. I'll go a couple hours earlier, bring a group instead of flying solo, and probably get a bottle / table to maximize the situation.
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